Dealing with Your Hangover

Good morning. If you’re reading this, you’ve survived last night’s adventures and are most likely not under arrest or locked in the trunk of a car. Good job. Now let’s deal with your hangover.  It’s a doozy, I’m betting.

First thing. If you feel like you might throw up, just go ahead and do it, even if it requires inducing. It’s unpleasant, but it’s going to be way easier getting the poison out of your system directly (there’s a reason they call it intoxication) than it is to put the extra load on your liver and kidneys, which are likely already working overtime. Seriously, you’re going to feel a lot better.

But maybe it’s not as bad as all that, or you just aren’t ready to take that step. That’s cool. There are other things you can do right now to help yourself out.

The best way to process out a hangover is vigorous athletic/aerobic activity. Work up a sweat. Get your heart rate up. You’ll feel really sick at some point on the upswing (and again, go ahead and puke if you have to), but even twenty or thirty minutes should be enough to burn up all the poison and replace it with adrenaline and endorphins.

I understand that most people will also skip this option. It’s a perfectly reasonable response, and one I’ve given many times, myself.

Lucky for all of us, there are less radical steps that can also be taken. Continue reading “Dealing with Your Hangover”

How to Get Good Service in a Busy Bar

Another year is about to come to an end, and New Year’s Eve, that most amateurish of amateur nights, is upon us.  Many of you will have the sense to stay out of the bars, and attend house parties or ring in the new year at home with friends and/or loved ones, far and away the safest, smartest, and, to this cranky old curmudgeon, most enjoyable thing to do on a night when the whole fking world likes to come out and get stupid.  But I understand that I do not represent the mainstream view on the biggest party night of the year.  That for many going out and painting the town red is both desirable and the done thing, that the madding crowds, the turbulent sea of celebrants washing against the bar in wave after wave to negotiate their social lubrication are in fact a source of attraction.  To those folks I’d like to offer some insight into the lives and experience of those harried souls on the other side of that negotiation, that you might use that knowledge to the benefit of all involved (but especially you).

The first thing you have to understand is this: for the staff, this is the worst night of the year, rivaled only by St. Patrick’s Day for biggest shitshow and highest douchebag-to-cool person ratio among the customers.  Even the money isn’t that good, not for what it costs you to earn it, anyway.  So a basic understanding that the bartender and the server and the door guy and the manager are having literally the opposite of your experience is helpful.  I’ve worked bars where the crowd at the bar was ten across and two or three deep from nine-thirty til the lights went up and the clock on the wall said go, and every one of them wanted to be next.  Even for someone who’s done it half a thousand times, it’s stressful as hell, and while you try and be as fair as possible getting to people, you find yourself making decisions about whose turn it is and who gets expedited service and who gets ignored til there’s literally no one else who wants a drink.

Here are some things you can do to be that person who gets helped quicker, who as a result gets to spend more time dancing and carousing and enjoying time with friends old and new instead of waiting in line for a drink because the bartender doesn’t like or remember you. Continue reading “How to Get Good Service in a Busy Bar”